I remember taking part as a child in the Whit. processions and the races Alan referred to although my recollection of the race is not a happy one; a mass start and accidental elbow in the midriff meant the bookies profited on this field day. (As if! I've always had difficulty catching a cold.)
Hort ...

I have an item of clothing that doubles up; sometimes it's a dressing gown, other times it's a house coat. Saves changing.

Dave, you ask if he's found guilty should he be punished. Definitely yes. All his teddy bears should be rearranged.

Charge him with being an arrogant git; he'll not get out of that one!

Both deluded.

Sometimes I wake up.

Because of my sensitive nature I feel shamed and guilty watching someone else do all the above jobs.

Some while back Mrs Bert had an email, somehow connected to Nectar points and Sainsbury's, informing her that we were the biggest buyers of cream toffees in the area. Another first for Berts.

Again you're probably right Alan. Maybe a touch of Chinese Whispers or Flossy's dad was time keeping.

I went "cold turkey" when overcoming my obsession to fold sweet papers longitudinally then tie them in a knot to make a Pentagon. It took willpower but so far I've been off the hook 2years this coming New Year.

Nodding off last night I remembered the other lad's name. Even better I remembered it this morning; not bad after almost 70 years. It's gone at the moment, are yes! Reg Wilson.

Alan, you may be right about Ken holding the 100yd record but there were 2 other fast lads in his year, both in the Parthians. One I can visualise but not remember his name. The other was "Flossy" Ingram. Somewhere I have a photo of me being presented with the House athletics trophy on behalf of the ...

Ray was 2 years below me at Cowley. We played in the same team along with another great, Ken Large. Usually our game was on a Saturday morning but I believe Ray often played a second game in the afternoon at Moss Lane. Ray and Ken knocked on my door in 'arris St. one evening to try and sell me a dog ...

Not far now Singe. Stay safe in this terrible weather.

Anyone else having trouble getting through to Singe's donation site?

Salesmen try to sell me fascia boards but where would The house sparrows nest?

Shameful. We all know what terrorism is and being a vandal isn't.

My Jehovah Witnesses neighbours tried to convince me how wonderful God's creation is until I pointed out that some children in Africa, at this very moment, are having their eyes eaten by worms. Watching nature can be a pleasure. Mrs Bert is one of the few people I know who is not fascinated by the ...

About 40 minutes into our flight back from Cyprus on Saturday the pilot announced that we had an emergency. After dropping quite quickly Mrs Bert said she could smell smoke. The pilot said they had detected an unusual noise and they could smell smoke; he then said, "Brace, brace, brace". I was ...

Pardon?

Sorry Singe we are not back in time to see you in Cornwall. You are taking the scenic route, not the shortest or easiest but definitely the best.
I'm in dispute with British Gas and the Ombudsman has found in my favour. The compensation is no where near what I claimed but I'll forward it to your ...

I would like to thank the many old girlfriends who dumped me in favour of a second best. My ego remains in tact; anyone can make a mistake. Their error allowed me to marry the loveliest, cleverest and all the other nice superlatives, person I've ever known, Mrs Bert.

I cycled to Speke Hall for my quality conkers.

I never knew it as Moggies Entry (probably hadn't been mapped then). It was always my first path leading to exploring the upper reaches of Sproggy Brook. The terrain could be treacherous (for bikes), eroded by sudden downpours. No gating; the natives must have been more friendly then.

One lasting memory of the carrot field was from a few years after the war. I was queuing at the side entrance of the baths to see the water polo. Several lads, about 14years old were playing touch rugby on the carrot field; with only the full back to beat the player in possession had support left ...